Friday, February 11, 2011

I finally went back On Bernard today and I found...

Sunshine.

Yes, we had a liiiiiittle sample of it today. But the true sunshine I found was in myself, or rather its what others saw from me today. Today I walked to the bank to deposit the two checks that I had which I needed to put in the bank. It was so gloomy outside and there was lots of ice on the sidewalks. I was a little bummed with myself for leaving on my sneakers and not switching to my boots. I love walking in my boots these days. :o)

When I got to the bank, there was a little confusion with our account (because we have a "world" account and a US account). Unfortunately, the confusion came in that my name is only on the US account, so I was not able to deposit the checks that were in my name. I noticed the teller getting tense and a little uncomfortable with a side of frustration on why this wasn't set up right. She went to the back and was gone for about five minutes.

When she came back, she looked like she was bracing herself for some reason. (I know this sounds dramatic but it also felt a little like it). She apologized with great hesitation and tried to explain things to me... I then realized that all of this emotion on her end was to a potential reaction that I might have to retaliate against her... I thought to myself very quickly, "Are people that nasty these days to others that we now have to prepare ourselves for their reactions?"

I kept myself in check and realized what was going on. I told her that I understood and that Michael and I can go to the bank together at a different branch that was open on the weekend and we would handle it. I said it all very calmly and very sincerely. It's not her fault. Why would I talk to her any differently? She took a very deep breath, smiled back at me and thanked me for being so nice and said other stuff I can't remember.  She then exchanged friendly comments about enjoying the weather and a few other things, as if she was happy to be talking to someone friendly for a change and didn't want to pass up the moment. Of course I obliged and thanked her for her time. Then I walked out. As I walked out, I noticed the sun was shining.  EXCELLENT!

As I walked across the street, I thought to myself, "No big deal. We'll fix it when we get a chance." As I headed over to Mosaic books, I was so excited to pick up my order that had come in. I had special ordered 4 things and 2 of them had come in. The day before, a sales person called me, without knowing that others had called me before her, and sounded worried that she annoyed me. When I walked in I recognized the girl who took my order (whom I adore) and saw the girl that called me was at the counter. The first girl went and got my order while the other girl took notice of which books were being pulled. Immediately she started apologizing and going on and on about how she didn't know that I had already been notified before she had called me... I simply said, "I would rather you call me then disregard my order and leave it sitting here without me knowing about it. At least you called." The same thing that happened in the back, happened with her. She smiled and immediately engaged in conversation about my books.  We then talked about Darby, and a bunch of other stuff. It was so fun to chat with these girls. I love the people that work in this bookstore!  When I was ready to go, I thanked them for their time and told them I will see them when my next books came in...very simple. No big deal.

However, I feel this was all a VERY big deal. Manners people! Once again what is up with people and how they treat others?? Have we become so horrible to each other that people tense up out of fear for reactions that are completely undeserving to them??? I get it. Some people are not great at being customer service representatives. But these people today that I came in contact with, were clearly wonderful people and very genuine at heart.  Why? Why would they be afraid to confront me over something that was beyond their control? I hate that. I really do. I felt like it was my job to "be me". No reason to get upset or frustrated. It's never a big deal. Nothing could be so bad to treat someone else horribly.


Today my attitude of gratitude is for my mind!  That I can actually use it and it works really well when I need it to...





Monday, January 31, 2011

And we got there... laziness, with a side of wasting time

It's Monday... sunny... and what am I doing? SITTING On Bernard Ave... aka - trapped in my house. Why... WHY do Mondays have this effect on us? Me? (I'll put it on me) -- It's beautiful out and I don't want to get dressed (still in my pjs) ---- ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dear Sun - Please come out tomorrow. Give me another chance because I doubt I am coming out today to play... please don't judge. Please give me another chance. I'm... an... idiot. (Laughing out loud at my own pathetic-ness)

Attitude of Gratitude:

"Hey? Where's my rock.... I hope I didn't leave it in my pants again..."


Music I was listening to while typing this AWFUL entry:

The Sounds of Silence

(and no that is not a clever/deep name for an alternative or techno band)





Friday, January 28, 2011

While walking On Bernard today I found...

Solitude.

I was walking down Bernard Ave. and kept going until it runs into a walking path that takes you through our downtown park area and near the lake.  It is a truly overwhelming feeling to experience this walk by yourself. I looked all around me and no one was around. At the same time, I was listening to the music playing on my ipod (or in my case, a "vintage" ipod shuffle). It's like the day is just for you. There's just something so strong about these kind of moments for me. I feel like I want to devour them so intensely; kinda like when I go to see a movie that is on the top of my list to see and no one else is in the theater the entire time but me.


The second thing I discovered today was something a little more sweet. Literally. You know how you can hang out at Starbucks for a few hours and when you walk out you still smell coffee? The smell is still in your nose, on your clothes, maybe in your hair... it's one of my favorite things. Well, today I finally went into our local country cottage store and the same thing happened but with the scents of candles! I came out of the store smelling of banana nut bread, apples & cinnamon, along with that strong type of cinnamon like in a red hot, and many other spiced yummies that remind me of being in Mt. Dora, Florida (aka home in Lake County). It lasted for a few blocks. It was so nice. And as I was typing this entry, I got a surprise second smell of apple spice. Fantastic!



My attitude of gratitude is for:

My good friend LeLe.  I love that I can send her photos on my phone of these moments as they happen and she always has something wonderful to say right back. She makes me feel throughout the day like she is always with me. And she too sends me pieces of her Pennsylvania heaven, which is why I keep the phone close to me, so I don't miss a single moment. :o)


Music I listened to on today's walk:

Amelie (Movie Soundtrack)
Cirque du Soliel  "Alegria" (Show Soundtrack)

(haven't changed out the music yet but glad it was still on there for me to play)






Thursday, January 27, 2011

Darby's Day On Bernard Avenue

Today while walking On Bernard Ave, it was all about Darby dog. The sun was shining (and for hours!)




We had to get out there, especially Darby.  I sometimes I feel guilty when Darby leans over the back of the couch and stares out the bay windows. And sometimes, I get smart and realize it is a reminder to pack us up and head outside... So I did and so we did!

I love walking to Duggan Park. In the back, there is a small dog "off leash" park.  It's been filled with lots of snow for Darby to have fun playing in but now the snow has melted. And sadly, the evidence of neglectful dog parents had resurfaced if you follow me, bleck. But it was all good fun and a wonderful day for Master Darby who could basically play and play... then play some more.



My Attitude of Gratitude for:

Darby. He brings us so much joy. He is my constant reminder of a fun loving, independent, confident lifestyle. Darby is the true keeper of "fear nothing". He is quite a spunky and spirited little Terrier. It's good to know him... :o)





Music I was listening to while writing this entry:

Tori Amos, The Beekeeper
Smashing Pumpkins, Tonight Tonight




Day Two...

Walking On Bernard makes me not miss Ferran Park (Eustis) or my secret place in Satellite Beach as much. Could I finally be at home? Or at least for now...





Music I listened to on this walk:

Nat "King" Cole, "Love Letters"
Ella Fitzgerald, "Isn't It Romantic"
Doris Day, "I Love Paris"







A New Attitude...

My first day while walking On Bernard, I found a brand new "Gratitude Rock". Ever heard of them? One of the things that I have always locked onto is having the "Attitude of Gratitude".   Many different clergy, philosophers, philanthropists, successful gurus of all types, etc. have professed their vision of how important it is to have an attitude of gratitude. If you read the book "The Secret" one of the presenters tells his story of the "Gratitude Rock".  Ever since I heard the story, I have always tried to keep one with me.  You keep them in your pocket. At the beginning of every day make sure its there and at the end, take it out. (You don't want to accidentally put it in the wash - I have before... a few times, actually)

I'll try to take a picture of my rock and post it at a later time.

Do you have one?





Music I was listening to on this walk:

Soundtrack to the movie, Amelie







Open the Door, Time to Explore...

As blah as this title may sound, it couldn't come at a better time.  Months of darkness, cold, snow, hibernation... that is what has been here in my city.  As for me, it was the hibernation part that I fell victim to the most. It's so easy to stay in one place; safe... warm, but eventually the sun shines and finds you. It wakes you up from wherever you chose to hide and sleep. Whether it was time well spent or not, the sun always finds you to come back out into the world and give yourself over to it. After all of these years of learning, growing, falling, failing, and on and on... I'm so grateful for the sun to always find me. I grow so tired. And yet, the sun comes and reminds me to stand in its presence and shine.

So here I am. For three days, I have gotten dressed, walked out of my building and strolled along, explored On Bernard Avenue. Who knows what I will find On Bernard Avenue. Everyday it looks so predictable. But sometimes it not what I physically find On Bernard. Sometimes it's what my mind finds On Bernard that makes that time walking along Bernard Avenue so special. So perfect. It's like everyday, I start all over again and always return home better than when I left...

I know many of you, if any of you may never walk with me along Bernard Avenue. But you can certainly come with me on my journey through this journey, you dig?

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do...

Please feel free to comment, vent, whatever you wish. The more you talk to me, the more I know you are walking On Bernard with me.

Peace and Love to you all. As always, hoping you are better than well. xoxo